We went to two Christmas Eve services last night. This is the first Christmas in eight years that I haven't been working at a church and the first Christmas since we got married that we both haven't been working at a church. So, it was fairly exciting to get to choose where to worship. We went with my mom and sister to the church where I grew up for one service and then went to the church where we are members for eleven o'clock service with one of our brothers (my in-law, technically). Both were very good worship services full of good music. Both were full of comforting and familiar things and full of people that I love.
The first service, at the church where I grew up, was comforting to me in many ways. Like I said, it was the first time in a long time...and the first time since my dad died...that I'd been there for Christmas Eve. Lots of familiar faces and a place that once felt as much like home as my own house. I could feel in my core the resonance of my formation in that place. These are the people, the music and choir, the costumes (or drama ministry), the place and space...the theology...that shaped who I am.
It turned out I had a lot of questions and some skepticism about all of the details of how things are done at that church and at other churches like that. It is not the kind of church I seek out for my own worship and community life and spiritual formation. But, all of that said, it was good, good, good to be there last night. And it was very good to be there with my sister who, for very different reasons, understands what I'm feeling.
Then, we went to the church where we are currently members, where jeans are a welcome and accepted part of the life of the community, where organ, piano, and guitar were all parts of the service, where everyone greets with a hug, and where the altar was laid for a feast. It was casual and a very chill time together. There was communion and prayer at the altar. There was lots of hugging afterwards and laughter. It was life-giving.
The wise preacher, an amazing young woman, preached about change. How, at this season when we want traditions and familiarity and things to be like every Christmas that we have loved and held dear for years, what we are actually celebrating is the most profound change. Not a change that happens or happened in a moment, but the transformative change that God brings when entering life with us always.
It was a good message for this girl to hear this Christmas. It turns out a lot has changed since the days I sang in the choir with my mom and sister on Christmas Eve. Our family has changed, our homes have changed, our whole lives have changed...my theology and understanding and ways of seeking God in life have changed. And it is all good.
What was...was very, very good. What is...is very, very good. What will be...well, I trust that this same God who has led us this far will continue to burst into our world with wonderful things.
May the light...God with us...shine in your life, too.
Peace and Merry Christmas!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
another good day
Yesterday was the third anniversary of my dad's death.
And, yesterday was actually a very good day. We spent the whole day with people I love and enjoy. We started out the day with friends and Waffle House, then we went to our church here in Atlanta and heard a wonderful and thought provoking sermon by a guest preacher. Then, we went to the husband's parents' house for an extended family dinner which was great fun and had great food! Then, we went to my grandma's house to have dinner with my family...and experienced good company and more good food! Then, we went and spent a little bit of time with other friends. So, it was a good day.
One of the points of the sermon was that sometimes things are over and new, but more uncertain things are at hand. In those times we can trust that the God who is with us in our comfortable places will also be with us in our new uncomfortable places. It was very appropriate and good to hear yesterday, specifically, and just at this point in my life. It's time to claim and accept some endings and to look forward to where God is leading me now. I'm fast approaching the end of my graduate degree. It's time to start looking to what might be next in my vocation. We believe God called us to go to Virginia, which means ending our time in Atlanta for now. It's time to see what God is calling us to in Virginia and learn and experience as much as we can while we are there. We are aware daily that we are drawing nearer and nearer to wanting to add a child to our life...and we are aware daily of all the endings and changes that will be connected to that addition. Yesterday was an anniversary of a painful ending in my life. I'm still learning how to heal and seek God in that ending. I'm continually trying to be open to the ways that healing will nurture me and help new things to grow in my life.
So, yesterday I made a point to listen to a song that helps me lately (World Spins Madly On by the Weepies--I highly recommend the Weepies!), got to receive a sermon that helped me remember to look forward with God, received repeated messages of support and nurture from friends who love me, and got to be with family and friends that I love. I got a little teary a couple of times both when I remembered how much I miss my dad and when I remembered how I am surrounded by the love and goodness of God if I'll just let myself accept it.
So, really, that's about what I need every day and would certainly be better for having each day. While November 11 will always be the day my dad died, that truth is just part of life now...and it's a good day to remember to live a good life.
And, yesterday was actually a very good day. We spent the whole day with people I love and enjoy. We started out the day with friends and Waffle House, then we went to our church here in Atlanta and heard a wonderful and thought provoking sermon by a guest preacher. Then, we went to the husband's parents' house for an extended family dinner which was great fun and had great food! Then, we went to my grandma's house to have dinner with my family...and experienced good company and more good food! Then, we went and spent a little bit of time with other friends. So, it was a good day.
One of the points of the sermon was that sometimes things are over and new, but more uncertain things are at hand. In those times we can trust that the God who is with us in our comfortable places will also be with us in our new uncomfortable places. It was very appropriate and good to hear yesterday, specifically, and just at this point in my life. It's time to claim and accept some endings and to look forward to where God is leading me now. I'm fast approaching the end of my graduate degree. It's time to start looking to what might be next in my vocation. We believe God called us to go to Virginia, which means ending our time in Atlanta for now. It's time to see what God is calling us to in Virginia and learn and experience as much as we can while we are there. We are aware daily that we are drawing nearer and nearer to wanting to add a child to our life...and we are aware daily of all the endings and changes that will be connected to that addition. Yesterday was an anniversary of a painful ending in my life. I'm still learning how to heal and seek God in that ending. I'm continually trying to be open to the ways that healing will nurture me and help new things to grow in my life.
So, yesterday I made a point to listen to a song that helps me lately (World Spins Madly On by the Weepies--I highly recommend the Weepies!), got to receive a sermon that helped me remember to look forward with God, received repeated messages of support and nurture from friends who love me, and got to be with family and friends that I love. I got a little teary a couple of times both when I remembered how much I miss my dad and when I remembered how I am surrounded by the love and goodness of God if I'll just let myself accept it.
So, really, that's about what I need every day and would certainly be better for having each day. While November 11 will always be the day my dad died, that truth is just part of life now...and it's a good day to remember to live a good life.
Friday, October 19, 2007
strong women...
today is my grandmother's birthday. i've also spent the week helping with the preparations for the annual festival in the village where we go to church. there are events going on all over the village and the church is having several fundraising events: a tag sale, a bake sale, a craft sale, and has a sit down lunch for folks where church folks wait tables. so, i've gotten to spend every morning this week (and most of the day today) down at the church getting ready. this has been great fun because well, it's been the first week since i've been here that i've been busy and i've been able to get to know folks at the church better.
and, let's be honest, for better or worse, almost all of the people at the church getting ready for this big festival day are women...more than that, women who have flexibility enough to be at the church during the day. i know the men are doing things...three or four have popped in or dropped something off or taken the garbage out or something. and i know they've built nearly all of the furniture in the church and do the repairs, etc. but, it seems pretty clear that the women are running this show. just this week i have watched or helped these women set up tables and arrange all the furniture in the fellowship hall to accommodate lunch for everyone, set up and sort and price all the craft items (that they've made...i was excited to contribute some things, too), set up the tag sale, and cook and cook and cook: gallons and gallons of turkey salad, ham salad, potato salad and coleslaw...and over 30 pies! (of course, the pie crusts are made from scratch!) everything is all set up now for an assembly line tight ship when we get there to serve lunch to all those folks. everyone will have all the supplies they need in their designated areas because these women have it all together.
these women have a plan. they have a job for anyone willing to help. they are supportive and encouraging. they laugh. they tell stories. they care about doing things well. they care about each other's people. they care about each other.
sometime yesterday morning...it may have been when i was halfway up to my elbows mixing coleslaw...i realized that, in some way, this is how i was having my own little celebration of my grandma's birthday. see, this is the first year i've been so far away for things like birthdays and i really would've rather gone out to dinner tonight with my mom and grandma than have to mail a package with her present. so, i realized that instead of being able to be there with her, i had just surrounded myself with strong, capable women who cook really well...just like my grandma.
being in the kitchen at the church is a bit like being in the kitchen at our family farm with grandma and her sisters, working around the kitchen table. it's best to offer to help, do what you can see to do to help if you haven't been given a specific job and, otherwise, stay out of their way because they have the dance of that kitchen down to an art. unlike the women at the church, though, these sisters can often finish each other's sentences and it's as though they can read each other's minds...especially when cooking (or fishing, for that matter). their love for each other is palpable in the room and they all laugh more when they are together. it is a good, good thing to be in the presence of such relationships.
it's also a good idea, when you're in the kitchen, to listen. you'll learn a lot. of course, they care a lot about what you have to say and will ask all kinds of questions about your life. but, in the kitchen at the farm...or at my grandma's house with just her...you can learn all kinds of things. about cooking, about fixin' things, about the way things were, and about family...being family and family heritage that is passed down and made real by the stories they tell...connections to great, great, great grandparents i would never have even known of otherwise.
well, maybe that doesn't seem like much to other folks or sound very exciting...but i cherish the relationships i've had with my great-aunts and uncles and am so grateful for my grandmother's help in staying connected. i'm grateful they are all connected. i just think that kind of heritage and, for that matter, close relationships with extended family are all too rare in our busy, busy world.
and, these women, stronger than anyone can know, have taught me a lot...about staying in touch, about keeping faith, about laughing together, about holding it together for each other when things seem to be falling apart, and about building relationships around the table...i'm not sure Jesus gathered folks around the kitchen table, exactly, for that supper, but i know it's a pretty sacred place in our kitchen...and the Spirit is definitely present.
so, i'm glad for all these strong women and i hope i can learn from them. and, on this day, especially, i am very grateful for you, grandma, and for all the strength and love you share with me. happy birthday.
and, let's be honest, for better or worse, almost all of the people at the church getting ready for this big festival day are women...more than that, women who have flexibility enough to be at the church during the day. i know the men are doing things...three or four have popped in or dropped something off or taken the garbage out or something. and i know they've built nearly all of the furniture in the church and do the repairs, etc. but, it seems pretty clear that the women are running this show. just this week i have watched or helped these women set up tables and arrange all the furniture in the fellowship hall to accommodate lunch for everyone, set up and sort and price all the craft items (that they've made...i was excited to contribute some things, too), set up the tag sale, and cook and cook and cook: gallons and gallons of turkey salad, ham salad, potato salad and coleslaw...and over 30 pies! (of course, the pie crusts are made from scratch!) everything is all set up now for an assembly line tight ship when we get there to serve lunch to all those folks. everyone will have all the supplies they need in their designated areas because these women have it all together.
these women have a plan. they have a job for anyone willing to help. they are supportive and encouraging. they laugh. they tell stories. they care about doing things well. they care about each other's people. they care about each other.
sometime yesterday morning...it may have been when i was halfway up to my elbows mixing coleslaw...i realized that, in some way, this is how i was having my own little celebration of my grandma's birthday. see, this is the first year i've been so far away for things like birthdays and i really would've rather gone out to dinner tonight with my mom and grandma than have to mail a package with her present. so, i realized that instead of being able to be there with her, i had just surrounded myself with strong, capable women who cook really well...just like my grandma.
being in the kitchen at the church is a bit like being in the kitchen at our family farm with grandma and her sisters, working around the kitchen table. it's best to offer to help, do what you can see to do to help if you haven't been given a specific job and, otherwise, stay out of their way because they have the dance of that kitchen down to an art. unlike the women at the church, though, these sisters can often finish each other's sentences and it's as though they can read each other's minds...especially when cooking (or fishing, for that matter). their love for each other is palpable in the room and they all laugh more when they are together. it is a good, good thing to be in the presence of such relationships.
it's also a good idea, when you're in the kitchen, to listen. you'll learn a lot. of course, they care a lot about what you have to say and will ask all kinds of questions about your life. but, in the kitchen at the farm...or at my grandma's house with just her...you can learn all kinds of things. about cooking, about fixin' things, about the way things were, and about family...being family and family heritage that is passed down and made real by the stories they tell...connections to great, great, great grandparents i would never have even known of otherwise.
well, maybe that doesn't seem like much to other folks or sound very exciting...but i cherish the relationships i've had with my great-aunts and uncles and am so grateful for my grandmother's help in staying connected. i'm grateful they are all connected. i just think that kind of heritage and, for that matter, close relationships with extended family are all too rare in our busy, busy world.
and, these women, stronger than anyone can know, have taught me a lot...about staying in touch, about keeping faith, about laughing together, about holding it together for each other when things seem to be falling apart, and about building relationships around the table...i'm not sure Jesus gathered folks around the kitchen table, exactly, for that supper, but i know it's a pretty sacred place in our kitchen...and the Spirit is definitely present.
so, i'm glad for all these strong women and i hope i can learn from them. and, on this day, especially, i am very grateful for you, grandma, and for all the strength and love you share with me. happy birthday.
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