strong women...

today is my grandmother's birthday. i've also spent the week helping with the preparations for the annual festival in the village where we go to church. there are events going on all over the village and the church is having several fundraising events: a tag sale, a bake sale, a craft sale, and has a sit down lunch for folks where church folks wait tables. so, i've gotten to spend every morning this week (and most of the day today) down at the church getting ready. this has been great fun because well, it's been the first week since i've been here that i've been busy and i've been able to get to know folks at the church better.

and, let's be honest, for better or worse, almost all of the people at the church getting ready for this big festival day are women...more than that, women who have flexibility enough to be at the church during the day. i know the men are doing things...three or four have popped in or dropped something off or taken the garbage out or something. and i know they've built nearly all of the furniture in the church and do the repairs, etc. but, it seems pretty clear that the women are running this show. just this week i have watched or helped these women set up tables and arrange all the furniture in the fellowship hall to accommodate lunch for everyone, set up and sort and price all the craft items (that they've made...i was excited to contribute some things, too), set up the tag sale, and cook and cook and cook: gallons and gallons of turkey salad, ham salad, potato salad and coleslaw...and over 30 pies! (of course, the pie crusts are made from scratch!) everything is all set up now for an assembly line tight ship when we get there to serve lunch to all those folks. everyone will have all the supplies they need in their designated areas because these women have it all together.

these women have a plan. they have a job for anyone willing to help. they are supportive and encouraging. they laugh. they tell stories. they care about doing things well. they care about each other's people. they care about each other.

sometime yesterday morning...it may have been when i was halfway up to my elbows mixing coleslaw...i realized that, in some way, this is how i was having my own little celebration of my grandma's birthday. see, this is the first year i've been so far away for things like birthdays and i really would've rather gone out to dinner tonight with my mom and grandma than have to mail a package with her present. so, i realized that instead of being able to be there with her, i had just surrounded myself with strong, capable women who cook really well...just like my grandma.

being in the kitchen at the church is a bit like being in the kitchen at our family farm with grandma and her sisters, working around the kitchen table. it's best to offer to help, do what you can see to do to help if you haven't been given a specific job and, otherwise, stay out of their way because they have the dance of that kitchen down to an art. unlike the women at the church, though, these sisters can often finish each other's sentences and it's as though they can read each other's minds...especially when cooking (or fishing, for that matter). their love for each other is palpable in the room and they all laugh more when they are together. it is a good, good thing to be in the presence of such relationships.

it's also a good idea, when you're in the kitchen, to listen. you'll learn a lot. of course, they care a lot about what you have to say and will ask all kinds of questions about your life. but, in the kitchen at the farm...or at my grandma's house with just her...you can learn all kinds of things. about cooking, about fixin' things, about the way things were, and about family...being family and family heritage that is passed down and made real by the stories they tell...connections to great, great, great grandparents i would never have even known of otherwise.

well, maybe that doesn't seem like much to other folks or sound very exciting...but i cherish the relationships i've had with my great-aunts and uncles and am so grateful for my grandmother's help in staying connected. i'm grateful they are all connected. i just think that kind of heritage and, for that matter, close relationships with extended family are all too rare in our busy, busy world.

and, these women, stronger than anyone can know, have taught me a lot...about staying in touch, about keeping faith, about laughing together, about holding it together for each other when things seem to be falling apart, and about building relationships around the table...i'm not sure Jesus gathered folks around the kitchen table, exactly, for that supper, but i know it's a pretty sacred place in our kitchen...and the Spirit is definitely present.

so, i'm glad for all these strong women and i hope i can learn from them. and, on this day, especially, i am very grateful for you, grandma, and for all the strength and love you share with me. happy birthday.