hope.

My mother, just one generation before me, lived in a world where there were different water fountains, different entrances, and very different opportunities for black folks and white folks. The N word was still part of regular conversation among most white people. Lynchings were very real. In addition to all of that, in the part of the country where I grew up, citizens of this country were kept from even registering to vote, much less voting or running for office.

Some of those things are still true. Oppression is still real. Racial prejudice and hate still exist. Children in America with brown skin are still treated differently than children with pale skin. We still have a long way to go.

But this morning I cried as I cast my vote for a man who, I believe, will lead our country to a good and healthy place...and who happens to have brown skin. It is a good day. My children will never live in a world where a black man cannot be President of the United States. It is a good, good day.

Out West Adventures--Day 3

Again words can't begin to describe what we saw today.

We are at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. The larger visitor center and more common site to visit is the South Rim. We are really in the middle of nowhere. It's the end of the season here and already getting very cold. The park's lodging is closed for the winter already, so we are staying at the only place near the park...it is a very cute and cozy lodge. Right now we're sitting by a fire in this wood beam lodge where they have internet. There are some French hikers at a table nearby and a retired couple at another table and some other young, hippie hikers wandering around. The World Series is on. It's fun...and we're about to go eat dinner in the lodge restaurant.

It's been another wonderful day. Just wonderful. We have planned this trip well, I think, for both of our needs. A place to stay each night already arranged and a main destination for most days. But everything else is up in the air. We're really enjoying the flexibility.

Well, they are ready for us and I am ready to eat. Tomorrow we cross the southwest.

Out West Adventures--Day 2

Day 2—October 21, 2008

There aren’t really even words to adequately describe today. It was just a good, good day. It started when Andy woke me up in time to watch the sun rise over the mountains…it just happened to be the view right outside our hotel room. The time difference meant we felt like we’d slept really late when it was like 7am in Las Vegas. We had a leisurely breakfast and then headed out towards Utah. As Andy put it, we traveled from Sheol to Zion today...Zion National Park, that is.

We drove across a stretch of desert, basically, where the mountains and plateaus were absolutely beautiful!

Then we got into the river valley that runs through Zion Canyon and, finally, to Zion National Park. It is just breathtaking. It’s a desert…only an average of 12 inches of rain a year. This year they’ve only had about 5 inches. Yet this river runs through the canyon and hydrates the land. Also the canyon is primarily sandstone, which absorbs water when it does rain. Then, in some places it leeches back out and forms little springs or waterfalls coming out of the side of the rocks. Plants can root in the rock and live off the water inside. They told us that the water coming out of the rocks has been in there for about 4,000 years!

Really, it was just a wonderful day. We were immersed in God’s good creation. I kept singing "Glory, glory, hallelujah!" in my head (the Daisy May version, for the record). I was also very aware that I am journeying with this man who continues to astound me with his love and compassion for me and his abundant excitement about the world and to whom I am lucky enough to be married. Andy and I had a hard time living apart for so many months earlier this year, but we are so much better now. I just feel really grateful that we are able to take this vacation together right now. I am also extremely grateful that we can both appreciate and celebrate God together in the midst of moments like today.

Out West Adventures--Day 1

Day 1—October 20, 2008
I am writing this from the inside of a pyramid. That’s right…we’re staying tonight at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas…the one shaped like a pyramid. Crazy!

For those of you who haven’t heard, we are on a long awaited trip out west right now. We have begun in Las Vegas (only for one night) and then are going to make our way towards Albuquerque, New Mexico for a Christian Educator’s Conference. This trip is basically my graduation present from our parents and my grandma and a rare big vacation for us. I thought I’d write a bit about it when we have access to internet.

Today we flew into Las Vegas and also got to visit Hoover Dam.

Got to see a bit of the Grand Canyon from plane and could see the Hoover Dam and Lake Mead really well. The mountains here, at least out this far, just jut up from the ground sharp and dusty. They seem abrupt…beautiful…absolutely beautiful…but bare. I felt glad to witness the stark beauty of this landscape, but even more grateful for the mountains I know that are green (with bursts of red and yellow and orange right now) and rounded…full of life, though scarred from centuries of human impact. They seem wise to me, our beautiful blue ridge mountains.

Hoover Dam was very cool...and very huge! We got to go on the tour and see some of the inside workings of the electrical plant and go up to see the top of the dam. Wow. It’s even more amazing to think they built it in the 30’s without the benefit of modern technology and machinery!

Then, to Las Vegas. Oh my. It is amazing in many ways. I am very impressed with the way they just decided to have a crazy vacation city in the middle of the desert only about 100 years ago and then just made it happen. The lights, architecture, and various attractions along the strip (like mock Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty, New York roller coaster, pirate ship show fully equipped fireworks effects) are astounding and sometimes breathtaking. We walked down to the Bellagio Hotel to watch the fountains dance to music and that was cool! I can’t help but feel like I’ve walked onto that island with Pinocchio and keep looking around at different things that are happening and think “this can’t be right.” (I almost never think myself conservative in nearly any way…but tonight…man oh man! I felt like the church lady or something! There are lines that ought not be crossed…it turns out I think there are some lines. Oh my.)

I’m really glad we got to include Las Vegas as a little stop on our out west adventures, but I am not sure I could manage much more time. There’s just so much going on all the time and everywhere you look…my brain is exhausted. As my mother would say if she were here: “Auditory overload!” However, I think I would get overloaded in just about every way if I stayed here for long!

I’m excited that tomorrow we head out for Zion National Park. It’s supposed to be beautiful.

Also, this trip includes a car with push button start. Seriously, you just put your foot on the break and push a button…then the car starts. It’s still freaking me out! A little too Back to the Future for me…I just want to southwest travel…not time travel just yet!

Occam's Razor...

...says the simplest answer is usually the best.

There continues to be much talk around our house and in my own head about the best timing for and circumstances around having babies. Tonight I said several of my most recent thoughts on the subject out loud as we were cooking dinner. Later I asked Andy if he had any thoughts on the matter. He said what he has been saying about babies since we got married: "I think we should have one."

When I pointed out that he has had the same answer for over four years, but that lots of the factors, timing, etc. have changed, he just said "But, it's easy. Step 1: We should have a baby. Step 2: I would love it. Step 3:...well...I guess someday it would get old."

This made me laugh out loud for lots of minutes. Would that my brain could work things out so simply.

fighting fires

It is a week of remembering...Hurricane Katrina, September 11th, and more personal remembrances of Grammy and Nette. It is still a time of sadness for many people I know who have lost people they love recently. It is a hard time for my own family. I don't know that I have much to offer, but I remembered an article I wrote a couple of years ago...more of a letter to the congregation I was with at the time. It was right after a lot of attacks had happened in Iraq and probably right around the one year anniversary of Katrina, although I didn't name that specifically. I've adapted it here and included the full lyrics of the song I was thinking about at the time. I went to bed last night feeling pretty empty and lost. Rereading and adapting this has helped me feel...well, better. I hope it reaches some of you in whatever way you need it right now.


There’s a song I’ve been listening to a lot lately by one of my favorite musicians, Sarah McLachlan. The song is entitled World On Fire, which feels all too true lately. The lines that keep running in my head are

“The world is on fire, it’s more than I can handle.
I’ll tap into the water and try to bring my share.
Try to bring more, more than I can handle.
Bring it to the table.
Bring what I am able.”

Those words can feel so true in my life. These last few weeks our world quite literally has erupted with even more fire in the way of bombs and what seems like never-ending war. While I am not in the midst of that fire, it feels overwhelming and painful to me. Thinking of all of the men and women who are away from home and in harm’s way fighting for their country, the civilians caught in a struggle so much bigger than they are, and all the folks worrying about and praying for their loved ones in the midst of the conflict. That’s a fire in our world that’s more than I can handle.

It doesn’t take something as big as war though, to set our individual worlds on fire. The loss of someone we love can turn our world upside down. A loved one’s struggle with addiction or mental illness can leave us feeling completely alone. The loss of a job can bring turmoil, a struggle about identity, and very practical problems about losing an income. These things can feel like more than we can handle.

This image of fire in our world doesn’t always mean something negative, either. New babies, new houses, new relationships, new jobs are all things that bring immense amounts of change and can turn our worlds upside down. Even if it is wanted and much anticipated change, it can get to feeling like more than we can handle.

But, I am encouraged by the guidance in the next line of the song: I’ll tap into the water and try to bring my share. That image of water reminds us of powerful images in our faith of living water that sustains us. I find myself able to connect with Christ, our living water, through worship experiences in community, connecting with other folks who are journeying through this world with me, prayer, and other spiritual practices. We must take time for Sabbath, for rest, and for finding ways to “tap into the water.”

The good news is that we do have living water to sustain us, to calm the fire, to soothe our souls. Then, we do want to bring our share to the table to try to help. We connect with God and with others by giving back and we are fed in our service. It’s hard, though, because we want to help, but can so easily commit to more than we can handle. But, we want to bring our share. All we can do, though, is bring what we are able to bring at any particular moment. Some of us will be able to offer more than others of us and the load will shift as we journey together. It is important that we honor and support each other as each person discerns what he or she is able to bring to the table.

But the most important part, to me, is that we do gather at the table together. That, one way or another, we find a way to bring what we have to the table…even if all we have in our hands is a broken heart. There, around the table, we encounter the living Christ again in the bread and juice. Together, around the table, we can help each other stand.
We are all journeying together. Sometimes it does feel like the world is on fire. We all need to tap into the water and find a way to know rest. We also need to find ways to bring what we feel able and led to bring to the table to, in turn, be filled by the grace of God. I don’t know of any other way to survive the fires that keep erupting in this world. We will find our way…on this journey together.

World On Fire by Sarah McLachlan
Hearts are worn in these dark ages. You're not alone in this story's pages. Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying and I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in, but

Chorus:
The world's on fire and it's more than I can handle. I'll tap into the water and try to bring my share. I try to bring more, more than I can handle. Bring it to the table, bring what I am able.

I watch the heavens and I find a calling, something I can do to change what's coming. Stay close to me while the sky is falling. I don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone.

Chorus

Hearts break, hearts mend. Love still hurts. Visions clash, planes crash. Still there's talk of saving souls. Still the cold is closing in on us. We part the veil on our killer sun, stray from the straight line on this short run. The more we take, the less we become. A fortune of one that means less for some.

Chorus

composting life

Two families I really care about recently had tragic deaths of grandparents. I've been remembering an incident of betrayal and crisis in a church where I used to work. Someone I love continues to struggle and flounder in repeated crises. And today would have been my dad's 55th birthday. So, as is all too often the case, I've been thinking about grief a lot lately.

I don't think God ever, ever wants these kinds of tragedies to happen to us. I just don't think God wills such things. I don't know why they do happen beyond the fact that we live in a broken world where death, betrayal, and tragedy are part of human existence. However, the loving and merciful God I see in Scripture is not a God who seeks tragedy for God's people.

Today I am grateful, though, for the ways God is always...always...present with us in pain and sadness. I do believe God can work in and through anything that befalls our lives...and that God does work in the midst of and in the aftermath of tragedy. God nurtures and tends. The pain and sorrow and loss become part of the ground beneath us where our souls take root.

Today I cry for the families that have lost grandparents they love, for communities that struggle with accountability and hope, for people that struggle to find their way in the world...and I cry because I really miss my dad.

And.

I am grateful to be standing in a more solid place...that grief and sadness are no longer overwhelming in my life. I am grateful for the ways I have grown and the things I have learned from my own experiences of sadness and loss. I am grateful for the hope I have now even in the midst of sadness...deep and abiding hope that only comes from experiencing the goodness and love of God.

I am grateful for new life.

home sweet home

so, i finally feel like i've gotten our house settled. we've finally hung pictures on the walls and nearly everything has a place. granted, we're completely out of bookshelf space, but that's how we like it i guess. a wonderful friend said recently that one of his favorite parts of being at our house is being surrounded by books. i like that, too. i guess, though, if you have a book phobia, you probably ought to keep your distance!

also, my mom, grandma, and one of my best friends in the world came to visit over the weekend. it was really wonderful to have them here. we cooked together, explored, participated in camp activities, ate delicious food, and picked berries...mom even went extreme berry picking with us! my friend had been here a couple of times and my mom came once before we were living here full time. so, even those who weren't seeing our house for the first time were seeing it really put together and settled in for the first time.

a day or two before they arrived, i realized how much i wanted them to like our house. it's not that i thought they wouldn't like it. i've just worked pretty hard to find ways to make this place our home, to find our own style for this house and for our life, and to figure out how to put all of that in this space.

in many ways i know i'm preparing for the likelihood that our lives will consist of lots of moves as methodist pastors and probably some parsonages along the way. i know that i have a tendency to look forward or to the past and do not always remember to live in the right now. so, i don't want that to translate into never settling into a place because i know we'll be moving someday. so, i think my nesting here has been a way to prove to myself that we can really feel at home wherever we are...even if our roots and our people are far away.

and, it's worked. i really like our house and i think it feels like home...i look forward to being in it...and it has bits and pieces of our people, our roots, and our histories woven throughout. i feel surrounded by love, support, and good memories when i'm here, even though we haven't had tons of time to make memories here yet. i think andy feels at home here, too. (mostly he's only home these days to sleep, but that's just for summer camp season...i think he'll take full advantage of the couch and our comfortable living room when the summer is over!)

it also turns out that my mom and grandma really liked our house, too. it's not exactly their style, but it is mine and they loved that. of course they did. i guess i knew they would. i made it my own, put myself into it...and they love me a lot, so of course they loved my home that holds my life. it was good to hear them say it, though.

I'm back...and I'm using names.

So, I graduated. (Hooray!) I packed up my stuff (with much help from Andy carrying heavy boxes) and left my friends and community I've been really enjoying. I got in the car with Andy and brother Mike (ha! like he's a friar or something!) and drove to Virginia. Now I'm here again and it's real. There's still too much from the last month or so to be able to write about...maybe later.

But, for now, Mike stayed for a few days and we had a great visit. It was his first time up here. I'll just say my weekend consisted of: good fresh food from the farmer's market, wine tastings at five different local wineries, long walks around the beautiful property here, catching up on sleep I missed during the end of classes and finals, kite flying, and lots of cooking with the bro (Mike is one of my favorite folks in the world to cook with!). Oh, and he made us chocolate mousse. So, not too shabby so far.

Now the visit is over, though. Mike went back to Atlanta and I'm still here. Andy's gearing up for the busy summer full of long days of summer camp. We'll see how it goes.

At least now we have tv!

taking a deep breath...

I have almost finished my time in seminary. Classes are over as of yesterday. There are still two big finals and a paper that stand between me and a graduate degree. And lots and lots of saying thank you and goodbye. I have more to say about this than I know how to write right now. I've been mulling several different blog posts for weeks now, but the pace of school hasn't given me enough time to sort them out in my head. Now, today, when there is nothing on my to do list, I find myself just needing to breathe. So, I'll only post a little bit.

One of the things I have continually been grateful for at Candler is the worship life in the community. It is a gift to worship two or three times a week with your friends, classmates, and professors. It is a gift to share with them in gathering around the table and breaking bread, knowing that is what sustains you...more than any knowledge you could ever formulate in a paper or exam. Lately, I've been just trying to relish being with this community in worship. I'll probably have more to say about that later, but for now, I'll just post words to a hymn we sang recently at the Sacred Worth Sending Forth worship service:

You Are Mine

I will come to you in the silence, I will lift you from all your fear. You will hear my voice, I claim you as my choice, be still and know I am here.
I am hope for all who are hopeless, I am eyes for all who long to see. In the shadows of the night, I will be your light, come and rest in me.
I am strength for all the despairing, healing for the ones who dwell in shame. All the blind will see, the lame will all run free, and all will know my name.
I am the Word that leads all to freedom, I am the peace the world cannot give. I will call your name, embracing all your pain, stand up, now walk, and live!

Refrain: Do not be afraid I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home; I love you and you are mine.

Thanks be to God for that kind of love and grace!

growing up

so, today i was standing outside at school when my cousin walked out of one of our buildings. she works and studies at another university on the other side of town so i was obviously surprised to see her. it turns out she was teaching a class on campus this morning. it worked out that we both had an hour to spare (a delightful and rare thing for two graduate students at the end of the semester!), so we went and got a cup of coffee. we sat outside at a little table and talked.

now, our fathers are actually first cousins, so we are whatever that makes us. she's a year older than i am and we've grown up seeing each other once or twice a year and usually spending several days together at our family farm at thanksgiving. so, it's not like we actually spend all that much time together. we are very different in many ways...and a lot alike in a lot of ways that are, i suppose, more of a coincidence than anything else. but, who really knows about these things?

but, today, we sat outside for an hour or so and talked. we talked about the graduate degrees we are both just a month away from completing. we talked about the work we are each passionate about and the ways that work has recently come into reality. we each talked about the man we love. we looked back at the deep and abiding grief we have each experienced in the last few years. we talked about the amazing ways God is working in our lives and helping us grow in that pain and into abundant lives.

so, here we are. two women who somehow ended up as adults who have found our way to contentment and joy. it is a good day.

a glimpse into the mind of a rambler in the abstract

so, i just took the husband to the airport. he was in town for a short visit because he, like my friend, had commissioning interviews. he was approved!!! HOORAY!!! it feels a little weird because this doesn't really change anything for our lives. because he's working outside of our annual conference and not in a United Methodist setting, his job isn't an appointable position. basically, he's choosing to postpone an appointment in a local church to finish his commitment to the retreat center where he works. so, nothing really changes for him...or me...until spring of 2010 when we finish in Virginia and come back to Georgia. which is a little weird and anti-climactic. he's been waiting for a lot of years for the affirmation of his call to ministry that came from that committee yesterday. and it is huge. but nothing really changes.

i'm starting to realize, though, that this is more of what life will feel like now. we've kind of moved through a lot of the stage of life where every single thing is a big life determining decision that will change your life path. okay, so maybe it's not always that huge, but when you're choosing a college, or job, or place to live, or grad program, etc., it feels that big. and choosing a life partner for this adventure IS that big! we've narrowed our life path a bit by choosing each other, choosing theology school, the husband choosing ordination. it feels like we've climbed some of the big mountains and finally reached a plateau.

sure, we will both continue to grow and change. a lot. sure, the people journeying with us will grow and change...and sometimes leave...and sometimes new people will join our crowd. we will hopefully decide one of these days or years to have a child and that will dramatically change everything about our life, too. but, some things are rooted now in what they always will be.

i got to see an old friend the other night...someone i loved very much, but haven't seen in six years. it was crazy to think about where i was then, at 21, just about to graduate from college, and where i am now, about to turn 28. so much has happened, yet, when it all comes back around, i'm still me. maybe i've grown up a little and learned a couple of things, but one of the things i've learned is to love who i am...and was then...a lot more...and that i'm really not going to change all that much.

i think i've gone to rambling now. what i'm trying to say is that i spent so much of my life feeling like someday would come and things would be so very different. but, it turns out that someday is right now just as much as it is still out there and things get very different in tiny little steps...and, at the same time, stay very much the same. and, i guess that's what it is to be grown up...living those little steps, looking back, looking forward, and living the right now.

so, pondering all of this, on the way home from the airport, glad to be in Atlanta with my friends, sad to send the husband back to Virginia, and simultaneously missing our happy house and the beasts there, i stopped to get ice cream (what other logical choice was there?!?). i walked up to the window and there was me, a man in khakis and a polo with gray hair, and a man in a suit. we all stopped...no kids...by ourselves...just some grown ups, living responsible grown up lives, who want a waffle cone every now and then. i kept thinking to myself: this is it. this is life. people in our lives get old and get sick. people we love have horrible struggles in their lives and we can't save them. big, life vocation decisions are made about our futures. new babies are on the way and children grow up and get cuter every day. medical tests and surgeries loom large on our horizons. we laugh with friends and miss the folks who aren't here anymore.

but, sometimes, we stop for ice cream and sit and enjoy the sunshine on our faces. i think i could get used to this grown up thing after all.

the women gather...

being here, in Atlanta, while the husband is in Virginia most of the time means that i am with my women friends a lot. i mean A LOT. and for that i am abundantly grateful!

one of my dearest friends was approved for commissioning yesterday*. so, we gathered to celebrate. it didn't have to be fancy, just sitting the living room in our apartment, hearing the story of the day and laughing together. it was simple and wonderful.

i was reminded yet again what a gift this group of women is in my life. if things hadn't gone so well for my friend yesterday, we would have gathered to support her. it's simple...being together...feeding each other...food for our bodies...and nourishment for our souls...listening, sharing, and walking together.

there's so much on the table right now in the lives of the women i love...huge life and vocational decision, new jobs, upcoming moves to a variety of states, graduations, relationships in their joyful and fun times and relationships in their hard and sad times, struggles and joys with families, raising children or thinking about having children, planning weddings or considering the possibility of that life commitment. so much piled on our table when we gather.

yet, it doesn't have to be much. we just sit together, eat together, walk together, and journey with each other on this crazy adventure of our lives.

and, thanks be to God for that!!!

*in our United Methodist system, that means she went through yet another set of interviews (after writing and turning in probably close to 100 pages of answers to questions about theology and ministry...and a Bible study...and videos of a sermon) and, in June, will enter the probationary status of pastor. our ordination process is a long one, but this is the next to last step before being ordained and she now functions the same as an ordained pastor in the local church.
(you can read this wise woman's blog at Ministry: That's Hot...the link is in the sidebar!)

celebrating being enough

I have been thinking a lot lately about an amazing woman in my life. We have journeyed through life together for a long time now. And right now, she is celebrating five years of sobriety(five years and one month, to be more exact!). That is such a big accomplishment!

I respect her and cherish our relationship immensly. Her journey into sober life led her to a deep and authentic faith...to integrity and truth speaking that are lifegiving for those around her...and to compassion and empathy that hold hope for even the most broken of us all. She lives boldly and loves fiercly.

This woman has held me up when I could not stand on my own and has loved me through the deepest darkness I have known. She knows me as well as anyone on the planet and loves me anyway. This woman has also known betrayal and heartache, lies and seemingly hopeless relationships. I watch her learning and practicing self-care in relationships that are painful, but always seeking to see the goodness in the other person. She has changed her life, continues to work at that change, and holds out hope and grace for other people who need it. Her journey in Alcoholics Anonymous has taught me about taking responsibility for yourself and truly supporting other people as we all try to find our way in this world.

This Lent, I am keenly aware of journeying alongside this dear friend. In this season of repentance, which literally means "turning around", I find myself being challenged by the witness of her life. She openly admits her brokenness, her struggles, and that she daily teeters on the brink of falling away from what she knows to be true and best for her.

And I believe this vulnerability is a big part of being created in the image of God. I don’t think I usually know exactly what that means, but journeying with her challenges me…to see my friend, myself, and others as God sees us…all of us surrounded by God’s love. She inspires me to want to seek and offer forgiveness more often…to try to be more full of grace for others and myself…to sit with people in their pain and love them, because that’s the best thing I have to offer. I have been reminded recently, though, that these are not things I am good at, nor are they things that will come easily in my life...or maybe in anyone's life, for that matter.

Standing with this strong woman makes me want to stand up and say…Hi. My name is Anjie and I’m human. And wow am I ever broken! And I'm doing the best I can. I'll try to remember that you are, too.

And, my Lenten prayer is that, for God and the people in my life, that's enough.

(You can read this wonderful woman's blog at Like the wrench and the cracker...the link is in the sidebar!)

are you still out there?

Hi y'all! For the one or two of you who check this regularly, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'm back in Atlanta to finish my last semester of seminary. It is altogether too busy and I'm quite sure there is no way I could finish if I hadn't had the gift of sabbath all fall. More about that later, probably, but I am feeling really good...really happy about my life in most ways...really comfortable and happy in my own skin. I think the sabbath time really helped with that.

I hope I'll be able to write more often soon, but each week gets busier than I think it will. So, we'll see. Thanks for your patience...and, if you're reading this...not giving up hope that I might someday write something remotely interesting again.

happy epiphany!

the husband just installed a new light fixture in our dining room. i am very impressed with these new skills of his! mad skills, some might say. :)

the fixture is one of those shape it however you want kinds from ikea and we decided on a spiral. spirals have significance for me and i am thrilled to have one casting light on the place where we gather to break bread with the people we love. cheers for the husband...for his gifts of making our home an even better place to live.

i just thought that was worth sharing...especially on this day of celebrating light.

moments of light

happy new year everyone! we celebrated new years with a couple of friends here in virginia. it was a beautiful, clear and cold night. about 1am we went out to the observatory. the husband facilitates retreat groups using the observatory all the time, but i haven't spent much time out there yet. so, in the middle of the night, the four of us went to see what we could see. it was wonderful...we saw mars, the pleiades (or seven sisters) star cluster (but there are actually more like 30 stars we could see...not just 7), a nebula, and then, saturn! it was pretty wonderful.

but, even more amazing was just looking up at the night sky. we were on a hill on a very dark and clear night and there were more stars than you could imagine! the longer you looked up, the more stars you could see. as your eyes kept adjusting, even more stars came into view...tiny ones...minuscule dots of light becoming more clear. then, what astounded me were the stars that just almost came into view beyond those. i'd start to see the faint glimmer of stars that were out there, but not really in sight...almost like you could see where they would be if you could see them. then, a shooting star would catch my eye and i'd be drawn back in to all that was so breathtaking in plain view.

i'm not sure that begins to do justice to the awe i felt in some of the first moments of this year, but i hope it is a sign...of things i've learned this past year and things to come this year. i hope i've really learned more about sitting still, letting my eyes adjust, and seeing the glory and blessings that are at my doorstep. i hope i will be able to keep praying, keep watching, and keep waiting, looking where the light is just out of view and waiting for the goodness it will bring. i hope i will be caught off guard and left breathless by the beauty of the unexpected light shooting across my path.

wrapped up in the support, abundant generosity, and love of family and friends, we have already had a good start to this year. i think it will continue to be a good one.