Monday, August 18, 2008

composting life

Two families I really care about recently had tragic deaths of grandparents. I've been remembering an incident of betrayal and crisis in a church where I used to work. Someone I love continues to struggle and flounder in repeated crises. And today would have been my dad's 55th birthday. So, as is all too often the case, I've been thinking about grief a lot lately.

I don't think God ever, ever wants these kinds of tragedies to happen to us. I just don't think God wills such things. I don't know why they do happen beyond the fact that we live in a broken world where death, betrayal, and tragedy are part of human existence. However, the loving and merciful God I see in Scripture is not a God who seeks tragedy for God's people.

Today I am grateful, though, for the ways God is always...always...present with us in pain and sadness. I do believe God can work in and through anything that befalls our lives...and that God does work in the midst of and in the aftermath of tragedy. God nurtures and tends. The pain and sorrow and loss become part of the ground beneath us where our souls take root.

Today I cry for the families that have lost grandparents they love, for communities that struggle with accountability and hope, for people that struggle to find their way in the world...and I cry because I really miss my dad.

And.

I am grateful to be standing in a more solid place...that grief and sadness are no longer overwhelming in my life. I am grateful for the ways I have grown and the things I have learned from my own experiences of sadness and loss. I am grateful for the hope I have now even in the midst of sadness...deep and abiding hope that only comes from experiencing the goodness and love of God.

I am grateful for new life.