Sunday, September 30, 2007

nature...communing with it or something...

So we live in the middle of a lot of nature now. Trees surround our house, which is not new to me. I was fortunate enough to live in a part of the city that had kept a lot of its big, old trees. There are rolling hills all around us and a creek kind of wraps around the property where we live. This is all beautiful. I think I've seen this countryside at least some in every season and it is always beautiful. I think the last few weeks have been especially gorgeous. Everything is lush and green and the skies are often bright blue. It gets cool at night and in the morning, fog rolls up off the creek and into the valleys between the hills.

But, this isn't entirely new. I grew up going to our family farm out in the country that is a different kind of beautiful, but definately beautiful.

What makes this place especially amazing, though, are the animals and birds...and reptiles, too, I guess. It feels like I regularly have interactions with them...or can recognize the relationship we share by sharing this land.

There are deer here all the time. There's a herd of about nine or so that live right around our house. There are several babies with this crowd that are just now starting to lose their spots. There are several females and a couple of bucks...one of them has a lot of points on his horns (I don't know what the lingo is for that, though). Sometimes they come right up close to the house and we can watch them through the windows. Sometimes they watch us through the windows, too. If I move past the window too fast or if our dog, the Beast, watches them for too long, they'll freeze and stare back at us. They don't always spook and run away...sometimes they just watch us, seeming to be as entranced as we are. The deer are absolutely beautiful creatures. And, did you know they change color in the fall? Their winter coats are slightly darker and more greyish brown than the bright reddish brown of summer. Smart creating.

There are also foxes here, but I haven't seen them too much lately. There is fox hunting in this area, though, so I would lay low, too, if I were a fox. We also have a lot of ground hogs...which are much larger than you might expect...and are kind of mean...and can climb trees (which you might not expect, given the ground feature in their name)...and, when startled, make a noise like a wild turkey. Welcome to Things You Probably Didn't Know About Groundhogs 101.

I'm also much more aware of how all this nature is cyclical and connected than I am in the city. For example, it's full moon time. The last few nights have been clear and beautiful and the moon is bright enough to cast shadows...not to mention bright enough to see by.

And, all of creation gets excited by it! The Beast and our cat, the Mini-Beast, have both basically been Mr. Sleepless in the Full Moon and completely wired. The dog will whine in the middle of the night to go out (which he doesn't usually do) and then just want to wander around and play when we get outside. The deer have been wandering around all night, too. We can hear them walking in the woods behind our house much later than usual. The coyotes (which we hear, but never see) had a FIT last night...yipping and hollering at each other for twenty minutes straight.

The owls have also showed up...and been loud the last few nights. Maybe hunting is easier in the moonlight? Maybe it's mating season for owls? Who knows?!? But, the Beast woke us up the other night, wanting to go play in the moonlight or something, and I couldn't go back to sleep. Because of the owls. They hooted and whoooed for at least 45 minutes. There were two of them the whole time and at least three some of the time. I didn't know they were also keeping my husband awake until he said to the darkness, "Could they just get a room already?"

Nature is fun, young people.

And, as it turns out, pretty awe inspiring...when it's not keeping you awake.

telling stories...

So, today at church the preacher got the kids and the middle schoolers to help him act out the Scripture passage. This took the place of the sermon with no notice to anyone in the congregation (except a comment during the announcement time when the preacher asked us all to forgive him or whatever might or might not happen with the children in a little while...we had no idea what he was talking about). Now, if our pastor didn't respect the children as much as he does and wasn't as energetic as he is, this would not have worked. And, as I'm coming to learn, there is a lot that can happen in a little church (think 30 folks in the pews...and that feels reasonably full in this small sanctuary) that just won't work in a bigger congregation.

Anyway, he got the kids to come up and started out like he was doing children's time (but had already read the Scripture) and then got them to help him act out the passage. It was the parable from Luke 16:19-31 with Lazarus and the rich man and the chasm between them after they die. It was explained that Lazarus means something like "God help him" and he was called "poor old God help him" throughout the story. No one wanted to play the part of "God help him." There were lots of volunteers for the rich man and his friends. The pastor incorporated some background teaching about the culture and moved through the story.

It was all impromptu, energetic, and slightly chaotic. No one knew exactly what was about to happen at any given moment (likely not even the pastor himself, given that small children and middle school boys were his helpers). The congregation got kind of energized and engaged, but also murmured and commented among themselves about the drama unfolding. They talked back when the pastor asked questions and were generally acting slightly more squirmy and engaged like kids rather than like adults. (The older teens in the pews were also completely enthralled with what their crazy church was up to now.)

At the end it started to get a little sad. Old "God help him" got to get up off the floor and go up to "the bosom of Abraham" and hang out with the angels in the choir loft...and that part was good. The rich man, though, had to stay behind...on the other side of the chasm. The pastor told the congregation that the rich man, even after seeing this chasm and seeing the difference between Lazarus and himself, was still commanding people what to do and even bossing around Father Abraham. The pastor looked at the young man playing the part of the rich man and asked if he could imagine anyone being so arrogant, so rude, so clueless? The boy thought for a minute and then said "yes"... and that no, the brothers probably wouldn't listen even if Lazarus were allowed to go back talk to them. The pastor said "Well, that makes sense...after walking past poor old 'God help him' every day and not ever even seeing him, why would they pay attention to him now...even if he came back from the dead?"

Then he asked the boy again "Can you imagine anyone being so set in their ways, so stubborn...maybe even arrogant...that they wouldn't pay attention and listen if someone came back from the dead...even if Jesus came back from the dead?!?" The boy said "well...yes." The pastor said "Yes, I'm afraid I can imagine that, too."

And then we prayed.

I think maybe that church today was more like what hearing Jesus teach would have been like than anything I've ever experienced before.

I love our little country church.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

rise up singing...and blogging...

So, here I go with the whole blogging thing. As most folks who will likely read this will know, I recently moved far away from all of my family and friends. Now, I'm over 600 miles north with my wonderful and funny husband and our crazy dog and cat. I know that for a lot of folks this wouldn't be a big deal, would feel like an adventure. For, me it feels hard...being this far away from the only place I've ever really lived, being this far away from all of my people, and moving from the city to the country. Also, as most folks will know, I've had a chunk of grief the last few years and at times it has kind of snowballed and felt a bit overwhelming.

So, now, in this new place, a new phase in life, I'm making it a spiritual practice to find happiness where I am, to live in the moment. My rockin' brother in law (one of them...they are both super cool) who is very musically inclined gave me a cd for Christmas that introduced me to a fabulous singer/songwriter: Daisy May (I highly recommend her music if you like folk kind of stuff!) She has a great song, Rise Up Singing. And I just like that. I love music and it inspires me, shapes me, is a form of prayer for me, and I guess I often have a sort of soundtrack running in my head. So, this is the song that inspired this blog...

if you are weary and trying to find your way home,
don’t give up my friend, ‘cause you are not alone.
in a world full of trouble you know trouble may find you
but i got your medicine, baby, this is what you do:

you gotta rise up, rise up singing.
in time, this too shall pass.
you gotta rise up, rise up singing--
you know, trouble ain’t built to last.

and when you’re left standing with no hope in sight
‘cause at the end of the tunnel someone’s been dimming out the lights,
you can lose your way and end up far from home
but, until the day you lose your voice, you cannot lose your song.

you gotta rise up, rise up singing.
in time, this too shall pass.
you gotta rise up, rise up singing--
you know, trouble ain’t built to last.

you know life ain’t easy and life will make you cry,
but so long as you’re breathing, you know you are still alive.
and when you’re standing at the station waiting for your train,
don’t you think you’ll be singing that sweet refrain:

you gotta rise up, rise up singing.
in time, this too shall pass.
you gotta rise up, rise up singing--
you know, trouble ain’t built to last.

--rise up singing, by Daisy May

This is me, then, trying to rise up singing...and blogging, in this case. Staying connected. Focusing on things beyond sadness and loss, beyond just feeling lonely, and, for that matter, beyond grad school (another big focus of time and energy the last few years). Finding out what makes me happy with my life, what things are fun and energizing for me, figuring out what God is calling me to be in this world.

So, here we go...because trouble/transition/loneliness ain't built to last...