four more to go...but not until the end of january!

so, i've finished my fifth to last graduate school class and for that i am very, very grateful! now there is time to focus on all the fun parts of december! i still don't understand why, but i am incapable of being both a functioning human being and a functioning grad student at the end of a semester. this is why we have YET to send Christmas cards since we've been married! and i hate that. but, i just can't get it together to do finals and fun christmas stuff all at the same time. this time wasn't so bad, because i only had one class, but it still basically imobilized me for over a week. we did get a christmas tree and a few decorations up and now there's time for all sorts of fun things!

also, since i'm feeling so giddy, i thought i'd share a picture of something i woke up to find recently:

and every time i'd try to take a picture of it, the mini-beast would come sit proudly beside it.

i like to think of it as some kind of modern art installation the mini-beast was trying to offer us. something decrying the luxurious comforts of modern day America...or maybe it's a simplistic piece illustrating the feline power over paper goods.

he clearly worked hard and was quite proud of this endeavor. for this to happen, the mini-beast had to jump straight up on the kitchen counter (which he knows is off limits and that he was risking an encounter with the dreaded squirt bottle...the only thing he fears), had to push the paper towel roll off the counter, and then drag or wrestle it a good ten yards into the living room. there was no mess between the kitchen and living room, so he kindly got it all to the living room in one piece and then shredded the living daylights out of it! all to leave such...art?...for us to stumble upon early in the morning.

what can i say? he's a self-sacrificing cat.

i'm dreaming of a white advent...

that's what the husband was singing this morning. and, lo, it began to snow!

this apparently isn't that exciting to folks who have seen snow a lot, but it is exciting to us! and, because gracious, kind friends gave me their hand me down digital camera...and, because the husband just found the cord to connect the camera to the computer...and, because it's SNOWING!...you get to see some pictures.

this is the beast running around like this snow is the most exciting thing EVER! well, he acts like that a lot...especially the four or five times a day he goes outside. but, he found the snow especially invigorating, i think.

this is the mini-beast trying to brave the snow. i think he enjoyed it, but he didn't want to stay outside for very long.

happy advent!

or, not so happy sometimes, as it turns out. the beloved buildings and grounds supervisor at my home church was killed in a tragic accident on friday. also, my pastor's mother in law passed away here in virginia on saturday night. both our worship service and the service at my home church had to hold the tension on sunday between the joyful decorations and excitement about advent and the grief felt in the loss of these two members of the church family. but, that's the point, isn't it? the point of advent, i mean. to realize and live in the tension of our reality: that the world is broken and full of grief and that, for just that reason, God choose to become one of us, among us, in the midst of this broken world...and that Christ offers the only real hope we can cling to.

i've written several devotions, prayers, etc. for advent this past week. one of them is below and feels all too true this week. (some of my church friends from atlanta may see these words in another setting soon, too.)

Since we’ve been up here in Virginia, I’ve been surprised how much more I notice the weather, the seasons, the natural world around us. I realize I’ve been noticing the cycles of the moon. I guess it’s hard not to. There are two houses on the hill where we live, with woods behind the houses and acres and acres of rolling hills of meadows in front of the houses. Each house has two outside lights, but they don’t begin to illumine the entire hill. When the moon is not out, you have to use a flashlight at night. But, when the moon is full and the sky is clear, you don’t need a flashlight. You can see everything.

So, in the cycles of darkness and no moon…and especially if the moonlight week of the month gets clouded out, I find myself wandering around at night wondering when the light is coming. The artificial light from the houses, even from my flashlight doesn’t help the same way. I need the real light. It makes the night less scary. In fact, it turns a dark hill full of mysterious shadows and unusual noises that go bump in the night a beautiful scene that will take your breath away.

For me, Advent is about the same thing…wondering why it is always so dark and wondering when the light is coming. We live in a world that is altogether too dark. We know the darkness in our personal lives…in broken relationships, in the addictions that hold us or the ones we love captive, in the pervasive wave of cancer that impacts everyone we know somehow, in abusive situations we can’t stop, in the horrible things that happen to people we love that we can’t explain or fix…we know that darkness. We know the darkness in our communities and in our world…in the reality of folks too numerous to count who are hungry and cold and become invisible, in the despair of God’s creation that is wounded and crying out, in the horrors of wars that seem to have no end…we know the darkness all too well. Too often, we find ourselves surrounded by pain, sadness, anger, and fear.

So, we’re told to fill our lives with artificial light to ease the discomfort. We buy things we think will make us happy, we eat or drink more to “take the edge off”, we live continually searching for what will ease the pain and bring light into our lives. But, it’s not the same. We still have a sense of something missing.

And then…then…we see it, the tiniest glimmer of a star through a hole in the clouds. We are reminded that there is real light. We may not see it very brightly all the time, but this Advent, we remember, the Light of the World came long ago in Bethlehem and we know this same Light, the Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer of all that is will come again. We hear John’s words again:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him no one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it. John 1:1-5

As we enter this Advent, carrying with us the pain and sadness our broken world brings, we also celebrate the joy because we know the darkness will not win. Light has come among us. Light is coming. And Light will come again. It will be breathtaking.

finals time...

so, it's finals time. i'm only taking one class this semester, but it has an intense final and a final paper. those are the only two grades for the class, so i figure i ought to study hard for the final and write a pretty kickin' paper. i'm trying to intersperse finals stuff with fun stuff, so i'm watching a little West Wing here and there, doing a little decorating for Christmas, cooking good dinners (or appreciating the husband cooking good dinners), organizing my craft space, and hanging out with friends. oh...and tomorrow i'm going to a Christmas parade nearby. and i get to go give the devotional at the camp committee meeting tomorrow and then be the liturgist at a church service tomorrow night. i'm also writing a couple of advent devotions. it's good to have things other than just school going on.

some kind and generous friends recently gave me their hand me down digital camera and i am very, very grateful (though they keep making a point to tell me how crappy it is!). so, i hope to figure out how to download my pictures and have some funny stories up for you soon with photos! we'll see...that might have to wait until after this exam and the paper are done.

only one more semester of school! god willing! anyway, more interesting posts to come soon.

predictable, but true.

this is what you'd expect...a bit of gratitude...for...

a good, beautiful, comfortable and comforting, breath-taking, and faith renewing place to live...a wonderful and crazy dog and cat who love to wrestle in the field in front of our house...learning to make cheese...making bread...frozen vegetables in our freezer from our garden and the farms of growers near us...a sister who travels a long, long way to visit...new homes and new beginnings for family i love...cheesy movies that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...good, soul-filling music...brothers who give me hope for the future of the world...funny people like Stephen Colbert and John Stewart who help me remember to laugh--and speak truth...friends and family who know me and love me even though they know me so well...friends who help me laugh and celebrate life...family who hold each other up when it feels like the world might split at the seams...warm blankets...fresh water to drink...shared organs...deep, deep, solid roots and the opportunity to try growing new branches...a kind, generous, and very cute husband who holds his arms out to catch me when i'm spinning, sits quietly with me when life is hard, dances around with me and always makes me laugh, and walks beside me always holding my hand as we find our way on this journey...

...and a loving God whose goodness and peace passes my understanding, but holds me up even so.

what are you thankful for this year?

another good day

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my dad's death.

And, yesterday was actually a very good day. We spent the whole day with people I love and enjoy. We started out the day with friends and Waffle House, then we went to our church here in Atlanta and heard a wonderful and thought provoking sermon by a guest preacher. Then, we went to the husband's parents' house for an extended family dinner which was great fun and had great food! Then, we went to my grandma's house to have dinner with my family...and experienced good company and more good food! Then, we went and spent a little bit of time with other friends. So, it was a good day.

One of the points of the sermon was that sometimes things are over and new, but more uncertain things are at hand. In those times we can trust that the God who is with us in our comfortable places will also be with us in our new uncomfortable places. It was very appropriate and good to hear yesterday, specifically, and just at this point in my life. It's time to claim and accept some endings and to look forward to where God is leading me now. I'm fast approaching the end of my graduate degree. It's time to start looking to what might be next in my vocation. We believe God called us to go to Virginia, which means ending our time in Atlanta for now. It's time to see what God is calling us to in Virginia and learn and experience as much as we can while we are there. We are aware daily that we are drawing nearer and nearer to wanting to add a child to our life...and we are aware daily of all the endings and changes that will be connected to that addition. Yesterday was an anniversary of a painful ending in my life. I'm still learning how to heal and seek God in that ending. I'm continually trying to be open to the ways that healing will nurture me and help new things to grow in my life.

So, yesterday I made a point to listen to a song that helps me lately (World Spins Madly On by the Weepies--I highly recommend the Weepies!), got to receive a sermon that helped me remember to look forward with God, received repeated messages of support and nurture from friends who love me, and got to be with family and friends that I love. I got a little teary a couple of times both when I remembered how much I miss my dad and when I remembered how I am surrounded by the love and goodness of God if I'll just let myself accept it.



So, really, that's about what I need every day and would certainly be better for having each day. While November 11 will always be the day my dad died, that truth is just part of life now...and it's a good day to remember to live a good life.

trying to pay attention

i'm back in Atlanta this week...just to visit. and i'm having a great time hanging out with friends and family! i'm trying to square up details to come back and finish my last semester of grad school.

and...

while i'm here, i'm noticing i'm missing our house and parts of my daily life in Virginia. i've said all along that if we could live where we live, the job could stay the same and we could magically move it just 4 hours away from Atlanta, i'd be thrilled! so, that's not new. what is new is that i've come to feel very at home and comfortable in our new place. i like it there. it is good for my soul.

and i still wish my friends and family were closer. but, it's good to realize that our house is starting to feel like home.

if anyone can figure out ways to apparate or teleport or some other way to deny the space/time continuum, let me know. i might be able to have the best of both worlds! :)