the comforter has come...

We went to two Christmas Eve services last night. This is the first Christmas in eight years that I haven't been working at a church and the first Christmas since we got married that we both haven't been working at a church. So, it was fairly exciting to get to choose where to worship. We went with my mom and sister to the church where I grew up for one service and then went to the church where we are members for eleven o'clock service with one of our brothers (my in-law, technically). Both were very good worship services full of good music. Both were full of comforting and familiar things and full of people that I love.

The first service, at the church where I grew up, was comforting to me in many ways. Like I said, it was the first time in a long time...and the first time since my dad died...that I'd been there for Christmas Eve. Lots of familiar faces and a place that once felt as much like home as my own house. I could feel in my core the resonance of my formation in that place. These are the people, the music and choir, the costumes (or drama ministry), the place and space...the theology...that shaped who I am.

It turned out I had a lot of questions and some skepticism about all of the details of how things are done at that church and at other churches like that. It is not the kind of church I seek out for my own worship and community life and spiritual formation. But, all of that said, it was good, good, good to be there last night. And it was very good to be there with my sister who, for very different reasons, understands what I'm feeling.

Then, we went to the church where we are currently members, where jeans are a welcome and accepted part of the life of the community, where organ, piano, and guitar were all parts of the service, where everyone greets with a hug, and where the altar was laid for a feast. It was casual and a very chill time together. There was communion and prayer at the altar. There was lots of hugging afterwards and laughter. It was life-giving.

The wise preacher, an amazing young woman, preached about change. How, at this season when we want traditions and familiarity and things to be like every Christmas that we have loved and held dear for years, what we are actually celebrating is the most profound change. Not a change that happens or happened in a moment, but the transformative change that God brings when entering life with us always.

It was a good message for this girl to hear this Christmas. It turns out a lot has changed since the days I sang in the choir with my mom and sister on Christmas Eve. Our family has changed, our homes have changed, our whole lives have changed...my theology and understanding and ways of seeking God in life have changed. And it is all good.

What was...was very, very good. What is...is very, very good. What will be...well, I trust that this same God who has led us this far will continue to burst into our world with wonderful things.

May the light...God with us...shine in your life, too.

Peace and Merry Christmas!

love it?...like it?...or not.

we went to cold stone last night. to get ice cream. one might wonder why ice cream sounded like a good idea when it was 25 degrees outside, but i was consoled that we weren't the only crazy fools in there!

however, the sales clerk/ice cream scooper guy...wow. that's all i can say. first, as we are pondering the infinite choices available in our ice cream creations, he asks if we have any allergies. still looking at the flavor and topping choices, we say no, no allergies. suddenly, tiny spoons with unidentified flavors are shoved in our faces. the husband gets dark chocolate peppermint (which, yes, we were both eyeing, but had not asked for) and i got some kind of coconut sorbet thing...which i did NOT ask for or really enjoy. however, it seemed rude to just drop the little spoon into the used spoon bucket with ice cream still on it. then, injecting himself too much into our conversation, he shoved the dark chocolate peppermint at me, too. granted, i was going to ask for it...but i was going to ask for it anyway. and, being the eco-guilt ridden person that i am, i didn't want to waste one little plastic spoon in the first place...much less a second when i already knew what i wanted. and, i didn't ask for his help. blech.

so, the husband and i made our orders and when i ordered the chocolate the oh-so-helpful ice cream guy said he liked the "white one" better. i went into kind of evasive, minimal small talk until we could get the heck out of that store! i deflected every suggestion he made, but he kept trying to engage. he said something like "i think your order could be even better if you added peanut butter." i said something like "um, don't you dare, crazy ice cream man." well, it was something more like "hmm. that sounds interesting. but, i think i'll stick to chocolate today." then, he got this crazy gleam in his eyes and mumbled "oh, but i like to dream up new creations and let you try them." then, he handed me my ice cream...with yet ANOTHER mini-spoon with peanut butter on it stuck in the top!!!

it still felt rude to throw the little spoon away with the peanut butter on it...but, i did consider throwing it AT him! i mean, i didn't. but, i was ticked about the assault on my ice cream. though, it seems like this guy loves his job. the husband said he wants people to love their jobs...just not that much. maybe this is just what i get for wanting ice cream when it's 25 degrees outside.

living in excited and hopeful expectation!

it's been a good advent for us this year. not having full time school to provide the chaos of finals has allowed us to do all the things we want to do and really enjoy the season. our little united methodist church here has done advent up right. the husband has been happy because we've sung "People Look East" at the close of every service, which is a wonderful advent hymn and one of his all time favorite hymns ever!

last night we went with friends and co-workers to a walk through christmas lights display at a park. it was fun and the united way had sponsored a section with lasers and led lights that were set to music...fun for all, i tell you! the only weird part, for us, was that it was 25 degrees outside...and then a little windy on top of that.

another night recently we went with some friends to a drive through nativity put on by a nazarene church. it was well done with live animals and angels in earmuffs and everything. i commend those folks, though, because it was really cold that night, too...and we were having more wind gusts up to 50 miles an hour! we were a little worried the little angels standing on a platform above the shepherds might just fly away!

also, i've been telling folks who can't get up to visit that i'll post some pictures of christmas decorations. so, here are a few.

some of the red balls on our tree are actually tomatoes. i love them and i like having them on our tree because, if you've ever met the husband, you'll know he's a fresh tomato fiend! he plants at least three or four kinds each year.

these are part of the nativity my maternal grandmother painted. she gave me her nativity before she died, so i cherish it. we actually have 6 nativities up, i think. in one of them, the baby jesus has toes that show...i love it.

did i mention that there were 3 camels...live camels...at the nativity the other night? one of them was white, just like this one, actually. very cool animals!

these lights came from my grandma's attic when she moved earlier this year. they are from the days when my grandfather brought home lots of fun christmas decorations. (he died in '74, so they date from before then.) they're obviously not usable as actual lights anymore, but i tied them with ribbon and they are fun in our kitchen.

these, like the lights, are from my grandma's attic. i guess i'm just happy to be able to use and enjoy things that used to decorate my grandparents' and dad's house. (and the bowl they are in was handmade by a friend of the husband's family from oxford, ga.)

also, for those of you who remember the spinning wheel from my folks' house, we've got it now, and it's full of christmas cards. that's fun, too.

anyway, thanks for reading through that kind of random tour of our house.

um...also...a herd (is that what you'd call it? no, a flock, right?) of wild turkeys just wandered through the woods behind our house. seriously. like 30 of them. weird. they looked more like a herd of something.

so, um, now i'm totally thrown off and forgot however i was going to end this. so, enjoy the rest of advent! maybe i'll post something less self-indulgent later. but, thanks for looking at our christmas decorations that we love.

four more to go...but not until the end of january!

so, i've finished my fifth to last graduate school class and for that i am very, very grateful! now there is time to focus on all the fun parts of december! i still don't understand why, but i am incapable of being both a functioning human being and a functioning grad student at the end of a semester. this is why we have YET to send Christmas cards since we've been married! and i hate that. but, i just can't get it together to do finals and fun christmas stuff all at the same time. this time wasn't so bad, because i only had one class, but it still basically imobilized me for over a week. we did get a christmas tree and a few decorations up and now there's time for all sorts of fun things!

also, since i'm feeling so giddy, i thought i'd share a picture of something i woke up to find recently:

and every time i'd try to take a picture of it, the mini-beast would come sit proudly beside it.

i like to think of it as some kind of modern art installation the mini-beast was trying to offer us. something decrying the luxurious comforts of modern day America...or maybe it's a simplistic piece illustrating the feline power over paper goods.

he clearly worked hard and was quite proud of this endeavor. for this to happen, the mini-beast had to jump straight up on the kitchen counter (which he knows is off limits and that he was risking an encounter with the dreaded squirt bottle...the only thing he fears), had to push the paper towel roll off the counter, and then drag or wrestle it a good ten yards into the living room. there was no mess between the kitchen and living room, so he kindly got it all to the living room in one piece and then shredded the living daylights out of it! all to leave such...art?...for us to stumble upon early in the morning.

what can i say? he's a self-sacrificing cat.

i'm dreaming of a white advent...

that's what the husband was singing this morning. and, lo, it began to snow!

this apparently isn't that exciting to folks who have seen snow a lot, but it is exciting to us! and, because gracious, kind friends gave me their hand me down digital camera...and, because the husband just found the cord to connect the camera to the computer...and, because it's SNOWING!...you get to see some pictures.

this is the beast running around like this snow is the most exciting thing EVER! well, he acts like that a lot...especially the four or five times a day he goes outside. but, he found the snow especially invigorating, i think.

this is the mini-beast trying to brave the snow. i think he enjoyed it, but he didn't want to stay outside for very long.

happy advent!

or, not so happy sometimes, as it turns out. the beloved buildings and grounds supervisor at my home church was killed in a tragic accident on friday. also, my pastor's mother in law passed away here in virginia on saturday night. both our worship service and the service at my home church had to hold the tension on sunday between the joyful decorations and excitement about advent and the grief felt in the loss of these two members of the church family. but, that's the point, isn't it? the point of advent, i mean. to realize and live in the tension of our reality: that the world is broken and full of grief and that, for just that reason, God choose to become one of us, among us, in the midst of this broken world...and that Christ offers the only real hope we can cling to.

i've written several devotions, prayers, etc. for advent this past week. one of them is below and feels all too true this week. (some of my church friends from atlanta may see these words in another setting soon, too.)

Since we’ve been up here in Virginia, I’ve been surprised how much more I notice the weather, the seasons, the natural world around us. I realize I’ve been noticing the cycles of the moon. I guess it’s hard not to. There are two houses on the hill where we live, with woods behind the houses and acres and acres of rolling hills of meadows in front of the houses. Each house has two outside lights, but they don’t begin to illumine the entire hill. When the moon is not out, you have to use a flashlight at night. But, when the moon is full and the sky is clear, you don’t need a flashlight. You can see everything.

So, in the cycles of darkness and no moon…and especially if the moonlight week of the month gets clouded out, I find myself wandering around at night wondering when the light is coming. The artificial light from the houses, even from my flashlight doesn’t help the same way. I need the real light. It makes the night less scary. In fact, it turns a dark hill full of mysterious shadows and unusual noises that go bump in the night a beautiful scene that will take your breath away.

For me, Advent is about the same thing…wondering why it is always so dark and wondering when the light is coming. We live in a world that is altogether too dark. We know the darkness in our personal lives…in broken relationships, in the addictions that hold us or the ones we love captive, in the pervasive wave of cancer that impacts everyone we know somehow, in abusive situations we can’t stop, in the horrible things that happen to people we love that we can’t explain or fix…we know that darkness. We know the darkness in our communities and in our world…in the reality of folks too numerous to count who are hungry and cold and become invisible, in the despair of God’s creation that is wounded and crying out, in the horrors of wars that seem to have no end…we know the darkness all too well. Too often, we find ourselves surrounded by pain, sadness, anger, and fear.

So, we’re told to fill our lives with artificial light to ease the discomfort. We buy things we think will make us happy, we eat or drink more to “take the edge off”, we live continually searching for what will ease the pain and bring light into our lives. But, it’s not the same. We still have a sense of something missing.

And then…then…we see it, the tiniest glimmer of a star through a hole in the clouds. We are reminded that there is real light. We may not see it very brightly all the time, but this Advent, we remember, the Light of the World came long ago in Bethlehem and we know this same Light, the Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer of all that is will come again. We hear John’s words again:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him no one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it. John 1:1-5

As we enter this Advent, carrying with us the pain and sadness our broken world brings, we also celebrate the joy because we know the darkness will not win. Light has come among us. Light is coming. And Light will come again. It will be breathtaking.